Dear Simone

Dear Simone,

I was fortunate to get off work early today. I went to the store to get some trash bags and went straight home. It felt nice to not have to buy too many things.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to form a personality because I was too busy with trauma brain. That’s why it’s called a personality disorder.

Why is the Hollywood version of a teenage girl so annoying ! I found a new show to watch and I’m really trying to cry here. And the teenager keeps doing stuff that makes everything worse and it’s like she keeps dodging death and life is like nahhh this is going to be like Final Destination…”you gots to go.” But let me just say, as many times as this girl should have died, she doesn’t. And I feel like it was time for her character. Especially how she survived in the end. Nope. No way. How everything happened. It is just not possible. Anyways, rant over.

I remember drowning in Mexico. And that must have been a life altering experience because it feels like I’m always searching for this feeling. Feeling I’m not used to, but it calls for me. Sometimes people give me that feeling. So I have to remember to calm down, but I can’t help myself ! I get so excited when people want to talk to me. Was my life that monotonous that anything could set me off? Like a rocket. I can see why I was impulsive now. That feeling. It was a controlled euphoric feeling. Risky but not too much. Which is why I have boundaries. Can’t do too much, then it’s out of my control and I’ll give myself a heart attack with all that anxiety.