The Mouse in the Bathroom

Dear Simone,

Sleeping has been a bit difficult. I’m still trying to get used to the medication increase. Six months into this journey and though some things have gotten better, it has been a huge roller coaster. I’m not sure if I’m at my goal yet. I’m starting to get to know myself for the first time.

Things overwhelming me:

I start my new job tomorrow
New schedule adjustment with JehNay
Doctor f/u to inform her I feel like my meds are not enough
This job change took a week of pay away
Who am I?
Gym schedule, budgeting, update calendars, change alarms, organize clothes and clean
Start a blog ???
Accept my new short hair

Through the chaos in my head, I remind myself that I need to relax or do one thing at a time. As much as I would love to believe I am “Super Mom,” I’m not. The past few nights I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and sometimes with a huge urge to use the bathroom. Last night, I woke up around 2am per usual. I didn’t turn on the lights or put my glasses on because I have been training for this my whole life. Walking around with my eyes closed in case I suddenly become blind. Plus, I trusted that I would only need the motion sensor light that I keep in the bathroom. Wrong. I felt something crawl on my foot and my first instinct was step on the tub and the toilet seat (closed of course). I reached for the light, praying I don’t fall in. I saw this medium sized mouse running in circles unable to get out. Over my clothes on the floor, under neath the sink, around the toilet, back to the clothes and around again. He did that about 5 times while I just held my breath. I didn’t want to scream… it’s not an emergency and I didn’t want to wake everyone up. I reached for my phone and texted my bf “Boob,” that’s what I call him. Nothing. Suddenly the mouse disappeared and waited a few seconds before stepping on the floor and making noise to see if he’d come out. He didn’t. I giggled on the toilet, thinking I almost used the tub instead!

I looked at the mess and thought of the thousands of other tasks I haven’t completed yet. Maybe, I wouldn’t be so stressed had I asked for help. Is that such a bad thing? To ask for help?

Anyways, I hope you’re having fun, wherever you are.

Missing you,