Dear Simone,
Denial.
The thoughts repeated so much in my head I came home and prepared myself to dig him up. I thought it would make me feel better. I needed confirmation. He is really gone. He would’ve already come up. He wasn’t breathing. He’s starting to smell. He’s really gone. I’m mad at myself because now he’s not laid perfectly like he was before. I messed that up.
He’s just a hamster. I feel worse. Now I can’t eat and my nervous system is on 10.
After Corgi died, I felt death lingering. Reminded me every day, it was around. Waiting. In my head I’m hysterically screaming and digging up a bigger grave, lying next to him. Crying like a 7-year-old. Ripping through the air til I hug him again. I’m not ok. He’s just a hamster. But I loved him, and he loved me. I lost my friend.
Dear Simone 
Leave a comment