Dear Simone

Dear Simone,

My therapist says I should repeat what I need to, a many times as I need to, until I’m over it. So be preapared for lots or repitition.

I wanted a family. People had other people, and I wanted that. I wanted a family, a house and lots of children. I wanted traditions and joy. I wanted friends and I wanted a best friend that I call for whatever, spend time with and cuddle if I needed some healing. food dates and new experiences. I wanted a family compound. I wanted to be so in love, that I wanted mini copies of my perfect person. I wanted pizza and taco nights. Game nights. Hosting. Hot chocolate and The Grinch and Christmas with the Kranks. A white Christmas. Coffee dates and night outs. But I didn’t get that. I didn’t get any of that. And when I tried to have it be just me and Jeh Nay, I wasn’t enough. She wanted different or other people. She wanted more. Even on my birthday or holidays. Even if i was at my family’s house, I was mentally alone. Not even my kid wants to spend time with me. So it’s a little hard for me to do anything. And the social anxiety doesn’t help. I don’t mind being alone, just not all the time.

– Wish you were here.