Maniac

Dear Simone,

I think I’m going manic. I’ve seen it coming for several days now. Kept whispering my name. Asked me to play… she hit me out of no where. Seductively spread her lies. And I bought it. Her perfume was…just ….so… hypnotizing.

I wanted a trim but she wanted me to cut if off. I wanted tattoo ideas and she wanted to cut. I wanted to go to.thw nail salon but she convinced me I could do it myself. She told me to spend. She told me it would be OK. That it was necessary. I always believe her. That’s my fault.

When I was done she sat back and laughed at how she made me harm ME. Sabotaged everything I’ve been working on the past 5 months.

Back to square one.

I think the final blow is when she makes me cry and hands me the razor. She’ll laugh and laugh and cry from laughter. Watching me fall apart. While I wait for the storm to pass so I can pick up whatever pieces are left. Drained. Then she’ll patiently wait however long it takes to tip the candle over the poured gasoline on the walls I keep trying to build.

She hates me. I hate me.