Dear Simone

Dear Simone,

I always end up doing this to myself. Self Sabatoging. Reminding myself what happens when I’m not on medication. I get a little taste of that hunger. I’m not sure why since I made the conscious decision to stay medicated. It’s for our well being. But I crave it. That sweet moment when I can just let it go. You know…the crazy.

Heavy on “don’t make me sad or cry, at that point I’m going back to my ex.” Why am I like this? I remember where I came from. The years it took for me to get here. That whole roller coaster. And yet, I want a taste. Of that bittersweet breath. It’s addicting. Or maybe I just don’t know what to do without it. It’s been my companion all my life.

BB