Wednesday

JANUARY 6

Dear Simone,

People ignore me most of the time, and no one says “bless you” when I sneeze. But I say it to others. Sometimes, the room is so quiet that I know people hear me sneeze multiple times. I don’t necessarily care about that. It’s more of feeling left out all the time that triggers me.

Before ‘Saint, I wasnt able to think about cooking chicken or affording food or trying new recipes. I was in survival mode and stuck in a fog. My goal was to get here. Where I am now in life. I just didnt think I’d get here that fast. I’m also starting to clean more and be more awake. He makes me laugh all the time.

No matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for my parents. Regardless of what I do or what I say, they always ask TV for things or ask about my sisters, when they know I don’t even talk to TV. Only Lilly. I was telling them they are stuck with me because my sisters want nothing to do with them, but they still have hope my sistsers will change their minds. I’m the one who is more responsible, more financially stable, and has the most common sense.

“I want to marry someone funnier than me.” Maybe because I didn’t get to laugh much. My world was quiet and dark OR loud and scary. Never joyful. I dont remember laughing too much when I was little. I do remember a few times that my dad was in a good mood he was funny. And when my mom read to me, it was HILARIOUS when she said “chinny chin chin.”

A bit angry,