Missed Opportunities

JANUARY 4

Dear Simone,

My dad used to beat me and no one cared enough. I was R*** and M*** a few times and I couldnt tell anyone. I’m a little resentful about how many opportunities my sisters got but they wasted everything and became nothing. My cousins too. I’m mad that Toni used to tell me they’re my parents, and her goal was to always reunite us. But Tye, who is not related to her at all, wants to keep her and fight for her but didn’t with me, and I was always loyal to her. Tye gets to live the life I would have if someone cared. Sha-nu-nu is living the life I could have, if I was given a chance or if my parents actually valued anything other than themselves. I was too smart for my own good at the time, and if I hadn’t focused on “love” or freedom, I would have done better. I would have been more. But everything was a no for me. I was in IB/AP classes, and I didn’t even show up every day, and I still passed with B’s and C’s, and I graduated with 15 credits over what I was supposed to. But nobody noticed, and nobody cared. I don’t think anyone else in the family besides Sha-nu-nu had advanced classes. But she was celebrated. I wanted to do sports or be in a club, but I couldn’t. Because my parents said no. No real reason or explanation, just no.

Not liking today,