Future Plan

JANUARY 3

Dear Simone,

♤ I’m a strong believer that some people shouldn’t have children. Or there should be applications/tests. I find it interesting that some people are ugly or have mental health issues, disabilities, they’re poor or have multiple partners or have kids taken away, but they’re still allowed to have more children.

♤ Another thing that irritates me are dental patients with really bad hygiene and they get mad when there are no appointments available. They get offended. But it’s their fault.

♤ I forgot to take my pills, and now I’m too overwhelmed to think about anything, about how I’m going to make more money, and I’m always sad. that’s irritating. Every time I realize how messed up, I am I get even angrier with my mom. I get sad knowing I don’t have friends and i’m not considered or included. I’m not the type of person people think to be kind to.

♤ I frequently think about Dee and how she doesnt really try to be my friend. I’m too depressed to deal with but her friend Bunny is more depressed and that’s ok. Her friend Leah is sneaky and fake and the worst thing I ever did to her was not go to her birthday celebration because I was sick or tell Toni about the concerns I had over her not using protection. But I feel like she used Leah as my replacement. I think about how she always invites her “friends” for events/things, but I’m never included. I’m always lied to or given cheap things, while everyone else gets expensive shoes or amazing everything. I think about how Sha-nu-nu is always busy and has her own thing going on, but she thinks of me. I think about how Toni always reminds me that I’m not her child or how I’m a burden. Or how I wish she would have fought for me like she did, Tye.

Hopelessly sad today,